If you haven’t guessed yet, I have been given the gift of having absolutely no filter. You know the little voice in your head that holds onto the thoughts that just don’t need to be spoken? Yeah, some of us unfortunately don’t have that. To be completely honest, the quality is just as much love as it is hate. The most frustrating thing for someone with no filter is when friends and family take your anomaly personal. It makes you feel awful. I can’t help it that the truth hurts, and I infrequently carry band-aids. I can tell you one thing, I am not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.
I hope I can relate with all you other overly honest folk, as I lay out the 13 everyday struggles for people who have no filter. For the rest of you, my best piece of advice: STOP TAKING IT PERSONAL.
1. Trying to figure out if people are laughing at you or with you
When you say something blatantly honest, and also funny, and you start to realize that everyone else may be really laughing at how straightforward you are. For whatever reason the fact that you voiced what the rest of the group was thinking is more hilarious than the actual information. And so you shall remain known as THAT outspoken friend. Sorry friends, too much!?
2.Having to remember that TMI is a real thing that should be avoided at all costs
If you ask me what I did last night, don’t be surprised if you get the honest truth. No I didn’t go to yoga and dinner with the girls. I actually spent the night unclogging my shower drain with one hand, and holding a glass of red wine in the other.
3. Fearing that others are judging
Oh, wait. We stopped caring about that a long time ago, didn’t we?!
4. Your friends always saying that you have the “best advice”
Because only the bestest of friends know the answers to all of your problems. And they magically know the best approach. But you would be surprised to find out that all humans can do this, if they wanted to. Somehow I just always happen to be the one to tell you that you should slow it down on your T Swift adventures, and just focus on yourself for a while. You know what they say. It’s either gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames. As your friend, I find it best that you are better off prepared.
5. Not holding back in arguments
There are no pre-confrontation layouts or game plans. There are no fronts. There are no fake resolutions or compromises. With no filter, I’m mostly likely going to tell you exactly how I feel. There’s a difference between being mature about the situation and being merely up front, people. I’m not going to play the game and see how you react to what I have to say or vice versa. Stubborn or not, I’ll let you know if I feel like I’m right and you’re wrong. But let’s be honest. Is that even a question?
6. Being a terrible liar
Being fake isn’t an option for our type. I guess it’s a good thing since I typically can’t stand fake people. A little white lie was never a common occurrence in my household growing up. Option 1) avoid the situation. Option 2) surrender and spill the good ol’ truth.
7. Coming across as arrogant instead of just blatantly honest
Believe me, I agree that some things are just better left unsaid. By all means, if I knew how to draw a fine line I totally would. It’s not that we think we know everything. It’s not even that we really care all that much. It basically comes down to the fact that we would rather get rid of the elephant in the room, lay out all the facts, and save ourselves from having to put on a blank persona.
8. Asking embarrassing questions instead of just keeping our mouths shut
“Wait I don’t get it. Why are you so mad, again?”Don’t get me wrong, I kill at a Charades game. But I’ve never been good at fake laughing and smiling with everyone else, if I have NO idea what’s going on. You won’t see us texting our friends about how we think our other friend finds us annoying. A straight up “have I been annoying to you lately?” text will suffice. As if they would answer honestly anyways. No hurt feelings bro.
While I think people with no filter are usually good at rocking an interview, it’s still overwhelming. That “did I really just talk about how I love The Millionaire Matchmaker” feeling after walking out. Hey, at least they know what they are getting themselves into from the get go. I will never forget the moment I straight up told the guy interviewing me that I had come to realize that their company probably wasn’t the best fit for me. Just thought I would save him some time. Ain’t nobody trying to actually work there anyways. I just typed a soft joke about the company I’m referring to, then realized it was probably better to go the professional route and keep quiet. The struggle is always real, y’all. Word vomit should be a verb in the dictionary, in my opinion.
10. First impressions
Before a new friend realizes that your honesty is just who you are. When they are straddling the “either close friends or acquaintance that I end up avoiding” line. Before they realize that you are just the Zoey Deschanel “New Girl” version, holding the whole group together with truthfulness. You should be worried if I DON’T tell you that your outfit makes you look like the college freshman version of you.
11. Feeling guilty for what you say
It’s not our fault that no one else had the balls to say what everyone was thinking. And just because I did, I’m not “sensitive” enough? Okkkkk. We all thought you needed to pull your weight and clean the apartment, I was just the only one willing to risk our relationship to avoid the bug people coming back. But I end up being the one to blame.You know what they say. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. While this is sometimes true, sometimes I believe it’s best to say it anyways when you don’t have anything nice to say. There are times when the bitch just needs to hear the truth.
12. Being mistaken as “too opinionated”
This is not an opinion, this is the truth. The truth because of a collection of all of our opinions. The only difference between you and me, is that you share your opinions with your brain cells, and I share them with the rest of the world.
13. Being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of your mouth
Word vomit, yet again. Let’s just all laugh and act surprised over the shit that just fell out of my mouth. I may have you fooled, but I am just as surprised as you are that I accidentally revealed how I thought the girl standing in the street has an identical ass of Nikki Minaj’s. Loud enough for her to hear. It’s a COMPLIMENT, I swear! Oh well, it was worth a shot.
Friends with no filter are a valuable asset, in my opinion. When you want the honest truth you know exactly who to turn to. Because let’s be honest, we don’t usually sugar coat. Do I look like Willy Wonka?!